Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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