He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
