yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
