I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
