I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
