You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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