Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
