i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Welp...herpes.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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