This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
