yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
