So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
