Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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