Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
