Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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