FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
