I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He passed out mid-signature
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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