I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
