I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
