Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
