Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
