under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
