How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
