Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
