Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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