My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
