No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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