He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
