Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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