your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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