How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
