Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
