Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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