I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
