i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
