Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
