I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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