after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
