too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
