I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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