didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
