It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
