Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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