Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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