new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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