I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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