girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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