he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
