Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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