so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
