Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
