i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
